“Of the talking of rubbish, there is no end” (anon.)
I have found what distinguishes us from animals after much patient research: our capacity for talking rubbish. And not just talking it–thinking it. You see, animals don’t talk or think rubbish: it’s all good sense with them, nothing rubbishy at all. But we humans are constantly talking and thinking rubbish. Our heads are full of rubbish. Those massive brains of ours are repositories of mental rubbish. That’s what makes us special! That’s what sets us apart as superior to other animals! They just can’t get their heads round rubbish, whereas we have a real talent for rubbish–absorbing it, transmitting it, wallowing in it. We are so brilliant at rubbish! I knew there had to be something that made us unique.